When the Decision Is Hard, the Care Feels Right: Families Share Their Perham Living Experience

Families often approach the decision to move a loved one into a nursing home with uncertainty. Questions about quality of life and communication with staff are common. For Brenda Sprenger and Joanne Lynke, those concerns were real – but their experiences have offered reassurance that their loved ones are supported, engaged, and cared for at Perham Living.

Brenda has experienced multiple levels of care within the same system, first with her mother, Margaret, and now with her father Alvin. Reflecting on her mother’s journey from memory care to transitional care and eventually a residential setting, Brenda emphasized how important it was to have continuity.

Alvin Mattfeld

“They fulfilled her needs based upon where she was at mentally and physically. She needed different levels of care and it was a huge benefit to have all the options in one system. It was nice to deal with the same social workers at each transition of care, and having everything in one system made a meaningful difference,” she says.

Remaining in a familiar environment, with consistent surroundings like church services, the gift shop and shared spaces, helped maintain a sense of comfort and connection.

Communication with staff has been a consistent strength. “The communication was awesome,” Brenda shares. “They would call and let me know when things happened. We had meetings and care conferences.”

When her father experienced health concerns, staff communicated quickly and clearly, even coordinating with the hospital when needed. This level of transparency helped Brenda feel informed and involved in decisions without carrying the full burden of care alone.

For Brenda, quality of life became especially clear when comparing her father’s current situation to when he was living at home. Despite initial resistance to moving into the nursing home, his well-being has improved.

“Grandpa is doing so much better. He’s more alert, he’s more engaged,” her son observed during a visit. Regular meals, social interaction, and daily care have replaced long periods of isolation.

“He was just spending so many hours isolated, and now there’s conversation and engagement. He already knew a lot of the staff and residents, and his cousin lives right next door,” Brenda explains.

Her mother’s experience also reflected a vibrant quality of life. Even with limitations, she participated in activities like gardening, church, bingo, and social gatherings.

“Mom wanted to do it all – church, bingo, happy hour, and gardening. She lit up when we went into the gardens” remembers Brenda. These opportunities, combined with attentive care, created meaningful moments during her final year.

Joanne’s experience with her husband, Steve, offers another perspective.

After years of caregiving at home, she reached a point where additional support was necessary. “Life just got overwhelming for me. I needed help,” she explains. Transitioning him into care was emotionally difficult, but the process was smoother than she expected. “It was a very nice transition. I couldn’t believe how easy it was,” she says.

A key factor was the gradual introduction to care through a day program and memory care, which allowed Steve to become familiar with staff and other residents. “We did the adult day program through Perham Living. When he transitioned to memory care at Northwinds, he was seeing some of the same residents and staff. I was so afraid how it would go and none of that happened. It was an easy transition for him,” Joanne notes.

Steve Lynke

Joanne makes a point of getting to know the other residents and other families do the same for Steve. “This one woman talks to Steve every time she is there. It’s like he’s got an extended family. It brings joy to the whole place, and I think that’s really important,” she says with a smile.

Joanne also highlighted the individualized approach to care. Staff took time to understand Steve’s preferences, particularly his discomfort in large group settings.

“They allow him to not participate, to do his own thing,” she says. Instead, caregivers focus on one-on-one interactions that better suit his personality. “Each staff person has their own way of working with him,” she adds.

Open communication has been equally important for Joanne. “Each step they were very open with me and very helpful,” she says.

Staff provided honest guidance, even when conversations were difficult. That transparency built confidence – not only in daily care, but in stepping away when needed. Reflecting on a recent vacation, she says, “I never once worried about Steve. I got to think of him in a wonderful way, rather than worrying about his care.”

For both families, the nursing home has provided more than medical support. It has created an environment where their loved ones can experience connection, dignity, and attentive care. Just as importantly, it has allowed family members to shift from caregivers to supportive partners in their loved ones’ lives.

Their message to others considering this step: while the decision is never easy, it can lead to improved quality of life – for both the resident and their family – supported by consistent communication and compassionate care.

For compassionate, personalized guidance on moving a loved one into Perham Living—including what to expect around family communication, daily care, and quality of life—we’re here to help. Please call 218‑347‑1800 to speak with our caring team and have your questions answered.